Welcoming Whatever Arrives
Happy Fall to you! I hope you had a good summer - and that, while there were undoubtedly good moments and not-so-good moments, all-in-all it was just right for you.
I was talking with a friend over the weekend - it was Pam Holland from Mindful Decluttering and Organizing - about our lives and our work, and generally supporting one another.
As we were saying goodbye, she commented on how I had responded to her text that morning about arranging our time to talk. When she has suggested a time, I said, “Perfect!” She told me that receiving that response felt good: “I don’t know if it was the perfect time for you, or not, Hetty, but you made it work! You made it perfect!”
It was the perfect time to talk with Pam, AND I made it work. Does that make sense? I was in the middle of another activity, and I could have chosen a half dozen other things to do next. But I chose to make it the perfect time to talk with her. Maintaining relationships is something I value deeply, and this was a simple way to nurture a relationship I care very much about. It is worth my time and energy to “make it work.”
I find that we need to clear the clutter in our lives - external and internal - in order to create the “perfect” space for what is needed in the moment; whether it be a talk with a good friend, or paying attention to a child’s or partner’s needs, or walking the dog, or sweeping the floor, or starting a work task. There are always so, so many things we could be doing that call for our attention. How do we focus our attention in a way that we bring our whole selves to all our choices and interactions? How do we make it perfect?
We don’t, of course. Nothing is perfect. And to think that we are someday going to arrive at the “perfect” situation/moment/life can set us up for frustration and disappointment. Unless, that is, we choose to claim perfection out of our perfectly imperfect lives.
We can’t wait for perfect to arrive at our doorstep;
but we can welcome whatever arrives as just right for us.
One way to get into a welcoming mood is to take a moment to gain clarity about what is important. I step away, literally, from the tasks at hand, take a few deep breaths, and ask myself, “What needs to happen now?” Then I take a few moments to listen for an answer that brings an accompanying calm. This can clear away the chaos of competing priorities and make the next step in my day more obvious.
I like to think of this time of year as “Fall Clearing” - a perfect balance (he, he) with “Spring Cleaning” time. With the changing of the season, it is a natural time to clear out closets and drawers to make room for fall and winter items. It is also a nice time to clear our internal closets, if you will, to make room for new ideas, and try on new ways of being. What feels just right for you?
There will be some new ideas and new ways of being this fall for Four Corners Counseling & Wellbeing! We will be saying farewell to Heidi and Marjorie, and welcoming Mali Jimenez to our DC location. We will also have a refreshed website and new offerings to support individuals and couples to step into what is just right for them. I am excited for the fresh start, and I invite you to join us by setting an intention for your own “just right” Fall season!