Therapy for Older Teens
(ages 16 to 18)
Are you the parent or guardian of a 16- to 18-year-old that is feeling overwhelmed by pressure to do well in school, conflicts with friends or family or worries about the future? Are you concerned about your older teen’s mood, social difficulties, or behavior? How do you know when it is time to seek professional help?
The teen years are a time of change and exploration and the demands on teens have never been greater. Between academic performance, pressures associated with social media and worries about social issues like gun violence and climate change, many teens are feeling overwhelmed. With so many changes and challenges, youth may feel overwhelmed, confused and sometimes out of control.
In addition to various social pressures, teens are also figuring out who they are, what kind of person they want to be and what they will do after high school. Most teens grapple with questions of belonging, sexuality, gender identity and a deep desire for greater autonomy over their lives.
Mental health concerns can also arise during adolescence. Depression, anxiety, eating disorders, substance use problems, cutting, trauma, suicidality and conduct issues often first appear during adolescence. While friends are often the first person a teen will turn to, sometimes the issues that teens are struggling with may be too big for friends to hold.
Therapy can be an effective way for teens to work through the challenges they are facing but how do you know if it is time to seek professional help?
In therapy, a young person can talk through their experiences, thoughts and feelings with an adult who will listen, see them for who they are and provide support. Gaining a deeper understanding of thoughts and feelings can lead a young person to understand what is important to them, who they want to be as a person and how they want to feel. Oftentimes, this leads teens to make choices they feel good about and find new ways of coping with the challenges they are facing.
Seeking the help of a therapist does not mean that there is something wrong with you (or your teen). Everyone struggles and needs help at times. The right time to start therapy is when you are ready to take that step.
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Finding the right therapist is about finding the right fit. Most people want a therapist that they feel comfortable opening up to, that understands who they are and that can offer meaningful support. Sometimes people have specific characteristics they are looking for in a therapist. Here are some examples:
Gender identity
Member of an affinity group (e.g. LGBTQIA+, race, culture etc.)
Training and experience working on a specific issue (e.g. eating disorders, anxiety)
Experience working with teens
It usually takes a few sessions to be able to tell if the therapist you are seeing is the right fit for you. Also, therapy is a collaborative process so be sure to communicate what is helpful (and what is not helpful) with your therapist.
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When you start therapy, the therapist will explain what types of information will be kept private or confidential and the types of information that will need to be shared with a teen’s parent, guardian or the authorities. All therapists are mandated reporters (as are teachers, doctors and counselors). Mandated reporters are required to report suspicion of child abuse and neglect, risk of self-harm and risk of harming others to the appropriate authorities.
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While therapy can effectively address many of the challenges that teens and their families face, sometimes teens refuse to see a therapist. They may worry about stigma related to mental illness, confidentiality, loss of autonomy or that an adult just won’t understand where they are coming from.
Here are some tips that may open a teen’s mind to going to therapy:
Ask your teen what their specific concerns about going to therapy are and seek to understand what is behind that concern.
Be careful to use positive, non-pathologizing language when talking about therapy. Some teens are more open to the terms “counseling” as opposed to “mental health treatment”.
Frame therapy as a way to improve their life and address their concerns. Avoid referring to therapy as a way to “fix” your child.
Find out what characteristics are important to your teen so that you can find the right therapist. For example, do they have a gender preference or perhaps they would like to see someone in an affinity group. Most therapists will offer a free 15 minute phone consultation. Encourage your teen to ask questions so that they can figure out if it is a good “client to therapist fit”.
When teens have been part of the decision to enter therapy and view it as a way of addressing their needs, they are often open to addressing serious matters of concern and are better positioned to benefit from the work.
Ready to get Started?
Jen Braveman, LICSW, LCSW-C works with teens and family members around issues like those described above. If you would like to speak with her, call us at 301-960-8960 for a short chat with our Client Care Coordinator, who is available weekdays from 9 AM to 5 PM. You can also fill out the contact form and we will get back to you.
What makes you different or weird, that’s your strength.
-Meryl Streep
