The utmost care and kindness in all things
Hello, Friends - How are you doing? Oh, that is such a tricky question these days. My short answer is, “Pretty well, all things considered - and there’s a lot to consider!”
I don’t know about you, but I have been living with emotional and physical confusion, tiredness, and downright fatigue. Living through this pandemic and experiencing social upheaval and stress on so many levels is something that none of us alive have ever experienced. For the first few months, I thought, “We’ll just hunker down and get through this.” Now, I realize that this experience is life-altering. And living through this kind of change is exhausting. We are all in this very precarious place right now, of so much not-knowing. It is stressful, and because we are human beings in these physical bodies, we are going to feel the effects of stress.
How are you holding up with all of this stress and uncertainty? My body is definitely feeling it. My lower back tells me loud and clear when my stress level is too high, and it’s been talking to me a lot these past months.
Take notice
And here’s a new thing that my nervous system has experienced these past seven months, which I just became aware of in October. Before the weather cooled down this fall, my body did not know what season it was. I had to consciously remind myself, every day, that it was fall and not spring. My brain could not remember from day to day. The life cues that told my body and mind what season it was have been all mixed up these past months. And it makes sense - in March, my nervous system was adjusting to the shutdown and staying in place, and it really felt like preparing for fall and winter to my brain & nervous system. Over the summer - yes, it was hot, but I was behaving much like I do in the winter, staying close to home and focusing more on work & routines instead of play & vacation time. So, 6 months later, my body thought it was going to be spring. Now that the weather is colder, my brain has adjusted. But it took weeks - It was the strangest feeling. What an autonomic rollercoaster!
And as our body goes, so follows our mind and heart. Have you noticed that? Our body is often - maybe always - the first to notice the stress we experience, and then the mind and the heart follow. I am sure I am not alone in feeling these strange and stressful things in my body, mind and heart. And you are not alone with your feelings and experiences, either. Just this past week, I either heard from others or said these things myself:
“I can tell I’m a little bit fragile.”
“Everyone is stressed out or worse.”
“I’m in this very precarious place right now.”
“I’m not sleeping well at all.”
“I’m riding the waves of emotions.”
“I’m feeling totally overwhelmed.”
“My mood is less stable lately.”
“I’m really exhausted.”
This is a stressful time for all of us! I am learning to treat my body, mind and heart - my whole Self - like the finely tuned instrument that it is: so sensitive to stress and change, and also responsive to care and attention. I am learning, as U.S. Poet Laureate and my favorite poet for the past thirty years (no exaggeration), Joy Harjo, invites us in her wonderful and wise “Eagle Poem”
To pray you open your whole self
To sky, to earth, to sun, to moon
To one whole voice that is you.
~
We see you, see ourselves and know
That we must take the utmost care
And kindness in all things.
I’ve been taking care and finding kindness in small things. The daily morning walk with my dog Olive crosses a babbling creek. The Friday evening ritual of donning masks and driving to our favorite restaurant for curbside take-out. Warm drinks and comforting foods. (Almost) daily yoga for my back and for overall stress management - a big shout out to Maria Hamburger Yoga!
And, as often as possible, reminding myself that acknowledging my feelings and my vulnerability is a form of strength. Knowing that I am dealing with a lot, and noticing how it is impacting me, allows me to make some choices to slow down and attend to myself. When I have done this, even a little bit, I am more able to attend to others in my life - my family, my friends & colleagues, my clients, my community.
Pay attention
Many of you know that my favorite definition of love is “paying attention.” Perhaps the most important way that I am paying attention to myself and my body is to pause and follow my breath for a few moments each day. Sometimes while I am walking, sometimes during my “morning me time” (I have that on a good day!) and sometimes at my desk, with my head resting on my arms - just following my breath for a few seconds or perhaps a few minutes. It is not fancy or sophisticated. Simply paying attention to the breath.
I hope you are finding ways to take the utmost care and kindness to yourself, in the midst of so many things to consider. Click here for a quick and easy way to check in with your body and your parts. Let me know how you like it!
I am here with you,
Hetty
