TL;DR: When you are not feeling calm and don’t have the whole story, practice the skill of breathing through the heart on a regular basis and priming the pump with curiosity, appreciation, and gratitude. Then bring in those not-calm feelings, whatever they may be (anxiety, anger, shame, angst, mental obsessing, and impulsivity, to name a few). Be aware and compassionate towards the thoughts and feelings, and observe them without judgment or resistance. Continue to breathe for a few minutes, until you notice an internal shift. Finally, ask for guidance from your heart. Experiment with this; it works!Read More
Has #MeToo affected you or someone in your life? Are you unsure what it is all about?
The #MeToo movement has received a lot of social media attention in recent weeks. It will die down, as all news does, but the impact of bringing the issue of sexual assault and sexual harassment to the foreground will reverberate for a while, particularly among people who are personally affected.
Happy Fall to you! I hope you had a good summer - and that, while there were undoubtedly good moments and not-so-good moments, all-in-all it was just right for you.
I was talking with a friend over the weekend - it was Pam Holland from Mindful Decluttering and Organizing - about our lives and our work, and generally supporting one another.
As we were saying goodbye, she commented on how I had responded to her text that morning about arranging our time to talk. When she has suggested a time, I said, “Perfect!” She told me that receiving that response felt good: “I don’t know if it was the perfect time for you, or not, Hetty, but you made it work! You made it perfect!”Read More
A wise woman asked me this week: “Do you feel like you have arrived? Or are you still crossing the threshold?” She was referring to more than a year of my actively pushing through some major life events, including expanding my private practice, finalizing a divorce, and organizing a move, while caring for my daughter (and my senior dog!) through it all.
There is a lot of uncertainty in our world right now. I am keenly aware of a feeling of insecurity both within myself and in those around me. How do we make sense of the changes in our nation’s political and economic landscape? And how might they impact our daily lives? We just don’t know. Not to mention the unknown impacts of changes, often unbidden, in our work and personal lives. That not knowing can be difficult to tolerate. But what if we are up to the task of tolerating all of this uncertainty and not-knowingness?Read More
The seasonal music reminds us that “there’s no place like home for the holidays” and that “love is all around us.” It’s got me thinking about relationships, and how we can attend to them, even in the midst of this busy time of year.Read More
Have you ever felt “capsized” by an event or situation in your life?
Using the metaphor of being the captain of your ship on the ocean of life: perhaps it feels as if you are sailing along, and a huge wave comes and overtakes you. Something unexpected and completely overwhelming occurs, for a few hours or even a few days. We don’t understand what just happened — we couldn’t anticipate it and it wasn’t supposed to happen, just like ships aren’t supposed to capsize. But it did happen. Perhaps we get upsetting news, or we have a conflict or big misunderstanding with someone, and we are completely thrown off. We are in the midst of a storm, externally, and then often internally. What do we do?Read More
This fall seems to be moving quickly — where did September go? It was the anniversary month for Four Corners Counseling and Wellbeing, and also my birthday month! I find birthdays to be a great time to reflect on what I am grateful for over the past year of my life — even the hard stuff — and what I am looking forward to in the coming year.Read More
I lived in South America for a time, where I learned about a spiritual concept that many indigenous people hold, about August being the time of year when “the circle is broken.” It is a time of uncertainly, and of change and openness as well. It is not a comfortable time; there is fear and anxiety inherent in this time of brokenness.Read More
I have been wrestling with a hard decision: to say yes or no to starting a new media venture with two terrific business-women friends.Read More
We have a new name, a new location, and an expanded therapy team! Our new name is Four Corners Counseling and Wellbeing, reflecting my vision to offer both counseling and wellness services (coming soon!) that will help our clients heal and flourish.Read More
One morning last week as I was walking into my office, I noticed trash on the front lawn.
This is not that unusual, since the office is at the corner of a busy street. I went to collect the trash and saw what seemed to be the contents of a glove compartment “emergency kit” — a bag of mixed nuts, hand warmers, wet wipes, a pack of gum, a roll of breath mints, and a packet of fruit gummy snacks — all strewn about near an opened ziplock bag. Nestled among these items was a clean, crisp 3x5 card with these words written in bold marker on one side: You are of Great Worth! I was astonished. This item was definitely not trash.Read More
Here’s my suggestion: give yourself a break!
The change of seasons can sometimes catch us unawares, feeling a little more tired, not quite able to snap into the time change. I’ve read that it can take a whole week for our bodies to adjust. So what if, instead of forcing ourselves onward, we tried being really kind to ourselves?Read More
Are you starting to notice that the light is shifting? More light in the day can really elevate our moods. So often over this winter, with storms raging and darkness falling early, I found myself saying, “We’re in the bleak midwinter.” But I saw my first snowdrops last week!Read More
I was just talking to a client this morning about this. She was describing how she feels frantic, a lot, and every time she meditates she feels calmer.Read More
Do you have difficult or conflicting thoughts with Valentine’s approaching? We might have thoughts about being lonely, not having a partner, or having a difficult time with our significant other.Read More
Barbara was telling me about a recent tandem biking trip in Croatia. One ride, with her spouse and another couple, was up a very steep mountain grade toward a quaint village several miles away.Read More
It is time for a confession: I love to listen to Delilah, a syndicated radio host who for over 2 decades has played schmaltzy love songs along with inspirational pop tunes, sprinkled with her brand of tough love advice and wisdom. The other evening, she was reading a letter from a listener and then said to the woman, “You are awesome and brave and tenacious.”Read More
So, in early February I got stuck in the ice. Really stuck. It was dark. It was cold. I was tired. I did not handle it well. It would be appropriate to say that I became “unfit for human consumption.” Luckily, only one person on the planet witnessed it. Unluckily, it was my partner.Read More