Grief is love.
Grief is love.
I once heard someone say, “ grief is an expression of your love for that person or thing”. That really resonated with me. We often think of grief as a bad thing, as a negative experience in our lives. But what if we were to think of it as an expression of love? Grief is felt when a deep connection with someone or something is altered or severed. It’s a testament to the deep connection we had with the individual or thing, and the yearning to be near them again.
These past few years have been a time of loss and grief for many in this country and around the world. Many people have lost friends and loved ones to Covid and many other diseases, accidents, and the like. It’s also been a time of loss of normalcy, social connection, and community.
The loss of the workplace
I want to talk about a grief that may not be as obvious - the loss of the workplace. Many people became isolated during Covid, and have not re-integrated into society, or back into the workplace. In my opinion, this new “work from home” setup has created a new set of struggles facing us today. Many people don’t go into the office at all anymore, and others 1-3 times per week. This blurs the lines between family life and work life, and can stir up intense feelings of loneliness and isolation. There’s a deep sense of grief around “the way things used to be” before Covid. The gathering in offices at work, the lunch dates, and drinks after hours. The bustle of a work environment that gives energy and purpose to its employees. The real- time exchange of ideas, seeing people’s faces IRL, not just behind a screen. Some people spend days and weeks alone, without the company or motivation of others. For many, relationships at work are not only enjoyable but vital. I myself notice a remarkable difference in my energy and mood when I go into the office and get to see a colleague!
Will life ever revert back to the days before Covid? What can we do with these feelings of loss and loneliness?
1. Normalize, don’t trivialize: Remember that it’s normal and natural to feel grief about “the way things used to be”. Grief isn’t only about the death of an individual.
2. Have compassion: Open your heart toward your grief. It’s painful and it’s ok to be hurting. Be kind to yourself.
3. Take action: Find small ways to increase connection to the world around you; get back out there, set up lunch dates even if you work from home, initiate activities with friends.
4. Intentional boundaries: Make an effort to establish clear lines between professional space and personal space at home.
5. Speak to someone: It can be helpful to speak to a trusted friend or a professional if the grief feels overwhelming and is impacting your daily living. Unresolved grief can lead to depression and anxiety, difficulty with sleep and mood, low motivation, and low self-esteem.
The therapists at Four Corners Counseling & Well-Being can help! We are experienced clinicians with many years of working with grief and loss, life transitions, and work/life balance. Please don’t hesitate to reach out for more information or to set up an initial consultation.
